The Spanish speakers specialty support group

I was born in San Juan, PR where I went to school at the local public school in Bayamón, PR and later graduated from college with a BA in Economics (Sistema Ana G Méndez Puerto Rico) balancing a successful career between motherhood, and the Puerto Rican Mortgage Industry; I met my now ex-husband and we moved to St. Louis, MO (I did, he was already here and his parents introduced me to him). Back then everything was perfect until I had an episode of severe vertigo that caused me to have a terrible fall while pregnant. It was back then when my rheumatologist diagnosed me with Spondylitis and AS. Ever since everything has been a long and painful journey.

I was diagnosed back in 2009 (I always have to say that yes… she’s perfectly healthy! She’s now a 16-year-old teenager who unfortunately had to deal with a mom with a “bad back”. My life turned upside down when instead of enjoying the new adventure of living in a new country and visiting all the parks that I had planned to go hiking, a place with all these new opportunities! Instead, I learned about what made me question my value or if I wanted to live in a body with this terrible pain and who knows what else in the future because so far… it only seems getting more complicated. For the rest of my life, I must deal with this, and if you don’t see a solution, you quickly lose purpose.

I don’t remember having that conversation with myself quickly, that realization came after years of moody steroids, weeks with horrible constipation, injections, the flush, or the steroids… the surgeries, missed school activities, judging looks from others. I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it. I used to tell myself, “but there has to be something, someone is going to find a different thing, and they’ll give me a different medicine and I’ll feel better.” Now I understand my reality doesn’t have a magical solution for me. Nowadays I feel the stiffness, the pressure, I understand how isolating this can be, but I also understand that even though it causes me more pain, movement is the “secret sauce” to feeling better. Physically and mentally!

I might not be able to change my spine, and I don’t think I have the strength to let us suffer through any more surgeries or procedures. But I have made peace with my reality, with my body. The one that came with painful Spondylitis. But guess what? I also want to enjoy the time that I have here and the opportunity that I have to use my experiences and my talents to help others. I deserve it. I still raised 1 USMC, an Aerospace Engineer, and my youngest who has seen me struggling with this condition for years; that one is a rebel Gen Z just like mom