On one of the many online forums for people living with SpA, we’ve seen several users ask how to tell their children about their parent’s chronic illness. Edem & Isaac, the children of SAA’s Manager of Publications & Programs, share tips on how to talk to your kids about your spondyloarthritis.
Tell Them When You’re Tired: Sometimes, my mom gets really tired because of her arthritis. She lets us know when she needs to rest. It’s helpful if you tell your kids when you’re feeling this way, so they don’t think you’re just being cranky.
Ask for Help: Kids like to feel helpful! If you need something like a snack or an ice pack, ask your kids. It makes us feel like we’re doing something important and can really help you out. Also, we can help with chores that are hard for you, like making school lunches, folding clothes, and picking up toys.
Use Simple Words: When my mom talks about her arthritis, says it simply. She says, “Remember, I sometimes have that pain in my hips and back? Right now I’m having that pain, so I need to rest.” You don’t need to explain everything the scientific way.
Let Them Ask Questions: Sometimes we have lots of questions. Sometimes they are silly, and sometimes they are not. I wanted to know if I could get arthritis, too. My mom said it is possible, but it is not definite. I’m glad she told me even though it’s not a 100% yes or no answer. If we don’t get it right away, talking a bit more helps us understand better.
Reassure Them: Sometimes, we might worry when we see you in pain. It helps us to know that you’re getting the help you need and that you’ll be okay after some medicine or stretching or rest. This helps us feel more secure and less worried.
Don’t Worry If You Can’t Play: If you are in so much pain and you can’t play with them or go out with them, that’s okay. Just tell them. We might get upset or sad, but that’s only for a while until we figure out something else to do. We know you love us.