You Are Not Alone

A poem by Mimi

You are not alone

You

with the chronic pain

the unknown, sometimes un-nameable

disease

plaguing your bones, your insides, your joints

You

who are up at night

wondering if it will end

when it will end

why… why won’t it ever end?

You

who so don’t want this disease

to define you

to be all that you are

who wants to hide from it all

and make it untrue

Who at the same time

wishes to yell out for all to hear

I AM CHRONIC

I WILL NOT CHANGE

THIS IS ME NOW

ACCEPT ME

(But how? How can they accept you,

when you have yet to accept yourself?)

You are not alone

You

who at times has so much pain

you find yourself in fight or flight

with your own self

(finding neither fight nor flight a possible solution,

panic takes over and anxiety settles in…)

You are not alone

as you peruse the Internet

looking for answers

looking for miracles

looking for others

sometimes grateful to know there are others who suffer more

(sometimes,

but not usually)

You

whose childhood is filtered through

a murky haze

Where does one’s disease end and life begin?

When does one’s disease end and life begin?

(please,

let me begin again)

You are not alone

You who longs to dance

lift

jump

run

who watches others and wonders:

“How can they simply rub it in like that?”

(all the while knowing it’s not their fault,

after all… you never even bothered to explain.)

You

who watches as your creator

is manipulated by one small gene

that same gene that now manipulates you

the same one you pray daily will not inhabit your angels

You are not alone…

I am here, too

awake again with you

fighting and fleeing our way

through yet another night…